words about things

What follows is my subtle attempt at honesty.

This week in Ketosis.

For the first time in 20+ years I am sub-200#’s. I keep listening to more and more top level athletes say “Bro! What’s wrong with you? Stop spiking your blood glucose levels!” Or some shit like that. I suddenly understand the South Park episode from 2014 where they said the food pyramid is upside down. I f^%king get it. My eyes are opened and that means (cue the late night sound track) it’s introspection time!

I had a rough introduction to religion. Catholicism is a harsh way to find out about the idea of God. It starts off all cool stories about David & Goliath, Samson & Delilah, Noah & the Ark. Bad asses, all of them.  Then they get to Jesus Christ and you want him to kick ass but he just dies and then some resurrection bullshit happens, with no Romans or Jews suffer and you’re like “NO! F*&king tear down the temples! Wipe out the legions! What happened sister Mary Catherine?” and then the tables turn. Suddenly it’s not “there once was a hero who defeated evil and you can be like him” No. Now it’s YOU are sick with the evil and the hero is dead and you are damned only the church can help you and all we have is stories about things that will never happen again. Suddenly a child is asked to understand the idea of hopelessness and accept their place as a weak link in a damned chain of sinners. They show you Christ, rip him away, and leave you with only the devil to come see you at night. It’s a bad business model for winning souls.

Luckily for me, I was a “reader” when I was a kid so when things fell apart at Sunday school I went to the library to figure out what the Hell was going on. I got some info, went back and was soon told I didn’t have to attend Sunday school anymore. Then we moved to a more protestant part of the world. The born-again types tried twice as hard to save my soul but with half the conviction or ability to defend their ludicrous beliefs. I tore their empty faith to shreds like an atheistic shark. Their blood filled the waters and fueled my feeding frenzy. Until one day I swam out of the other end of the pool of blood and realized that everything bleeds its faith. I started to see how the atheists around me were exuding the same mindless disdain that the Christians had been. Atheism is an “ism” like all the “ism”s that had treated me so badly and forced themselves upon me and forced me to fight so ruthlessly. Something bad, in the name of good, had made good be bad in the name of victory. Is that too ridiculous a statement to believe? I hope not because it plays into what I felt this week.

I found myself in public looking at the people around me thinking “Just stop with the goddamn sugar! It’s killing you. Stop! Stop with the disgusting white bread. The piles of beans on everything. Stop drinking sodas and thinking it's OK it's just ONE soda. Stop with the deep fried breaded crap. You just ruined real protein! Stop throwing pund after pou do fdough into your body and wondering why the Dr is giving you pills to make your pancreas work.” I felt EVANGELICAL. I was proselytising for low carbs. It was absolutely mind bending. I would argue that this is proof of how what we eat affects how we think. I still feel it in an unquenchable way. I feel like I’m peering through the mountain pass at the valley below and when I look behind me everyone is freezing in the snow and scratching at the rocks for food and shelter. I know the answer why doesn't everyone listen to me? (time to check myself)

In the words of Marsellus Wallace “that’s pride f&^king with you” You know it from reading it, I know it from writing it. So rather than throw some carb eating Samoan off a balcony over a snickers bar I’m gonna go back in there, chill them ketones out and wait for the Wolf who will be coming directly. I just used a Tarantino quote to settle an existential crisis! Take that Shakespeare who once wrote "things without all remedy should be with out regard"

Damn. I could have saved myself a lot of typing if I had led with that.