words about things

What follows is my subtle attempt at honesty.

Lessons Learned

I've been wanting to write about delusions for a while. I recently heard a very smart person talk about how he tried "positive thinking" knowing it was all bullshit and it worked. Over and over again he succeeded in his life by carefully looking at what potential was around him, deciding what thing he wanted to do and simply telling himself I am going to try this and it is going to work. It was a very confusing discussion to listen to because he kept saying "I know this is bullshit, but I told myself I would accomplish my goals and I did"

Well, I've considered this delusion dilemma. I'm one of those people who is always inside his own head. It's not the quiet hours at home when I realize my fragile existence in the universe; it's always. I know I won't win the prize, you have to try and if you do win, that's just more problems and it took luck to get you here. I know I can't master the art, someone is always better, more dedicated and more capable. You see I have a serious philosophical problem here, right?

That being said, I am constantly on the look out things about which I am delusional. This week I found one while messing with my diet.

I drink wonderful Kentucky bourbon made by the fine people at the Jim Beam distillery in Clermont, Kentucky. I have had all manner of bourbons in all price ranges and when it's my $ being spent Jim Beam is always my choice.

*Norris waits for the complimentary cases of Jim Beam to arrive*

That being said I hadn't thought about calories of liquor. Well it turns out that two things are at work here.

#1 My 4 oz "doubles" of which I have several each night are 268 calories per glass. I am only eating 1000-1200 calories per day right now in "food"  (that's 2 cokes, 2 snickers and a small bag of doritos to you 'Mericans out there) and then matching it with bourbon each night.. (that's like also eating 2 pieces of pizza and a pint of ice cream)

#2 all calories aren't the same. The body burns the easiest energy source first. If all you have is fat, it burns fat. If simple carbs are present it burns them first. But if alcohol is present guess what? It burns the alcohol first. I've been carefully controlling my simple sugars and feeding my body reduced carbs, making sure I got lots of protein and dietary fiber and all the while I was feeding it an alternate energy source.

This brings up something I say over and over again in my real life: your diet is everything you put in your body. It's not just the food you eat or what you drink, it's the medicine you take, it's the air you breathe. It's everything that you have to use or filter out. Drinking is my delusion. I do it. I know I do it. I like to do it. I want to keep doing it. I know it has a long term affect, but I don't count it.

Having said that am I better or worse?